It must be one of those things. When you're not paying attention, you don't notice it. But as soon as it becomes important, you see it everywhere. For me, it's people getting pregnant. These past few weeks, one of my sister's friends posted that she was pregnant with an ultrasound picture on Facebook. Then one of our friends posted a belly picture on Facebook with a 'guess what' message.
I am trying not to feel jealous or left out or anxious....but it's hard not to. Last month, I was really reading a lot of pregnancy/birth material and it was consuming my time (even though I promised myself I wouldn't let it become an obsession...). I felt pressured. My husband felt pressured. So I finally just let go. I had my period and was a little sad, but also kind of happy to have a 'real' period again. It was like, "oh yeah, this is what it's supposed to be like!".
I did an ovulation calculator for this month, but kept my fertile dates to myself and have been keeping myself busy, which helped reduce the pressure we were feeling. I'm applying for grad school and should get accepted soon. I don't feel any different this month, whereas last month, any kind of weird/ill/different sensation was like, "Is this it? Am I pregnant? Could I be?" I figure I'll definitely know when because I'll probably get sick. I'm also trying not to think about it as often. Being busy does help.
At any rate, it will happen when it happens. Until then, I will try to be at peace with me the way I am today.
