Just do it

Ok, so I'm not partial to Nike, but "Just do it" seems to be the advice my heart is giving me...

So we're doing this thing. We're teetering on the edge of poverty, I'm applying for grad school, and my husband makes less every year because of his health insurance plan, but we're going to get pregnant. There is still this ideal in my head that I'd written in my journal a while ago, that we'd both have jobs and be in a 'stable financial situation'. Well, on the upside, I now have 2 part-time jobs that will last through December at least, although neither of them add up to more than $100 a week. I am still ecstatic that I have them. Last year, I had nothing.

Lots of fears come to mind, of course. I'm 30. I want to have a healthy pregnancy, birth, and most important of all, baby. I'm trying not to read too much literature on infertility (most of which applies after you're 35 anyway). I'm trying to be reasonable about my expectations and fears about conceiving (which is impossible). I stopped taking my birth control pill this past weekend. I feel elated- freed- and now I'm trying to figure out when I'll ovulate. I have a guess based on the periods I had on the Pill, but I'm not about to wait 3 months to establish a regular cycle before we conceive. Too long. I'm hoping that we'll just magically have luck this month and poof! Baby.

In the meantime, I'm not going to freak out and become super-obsessed with reading everything. I am going to maintain a good healthy self by regular de-stressing (yoga, baths), exercising to keep my body in optimal condition, eating healthy portions of delicious foods, and letting things happen when and as they will.

God willing, everything will work out right.