I'm on a rant, so please excuse if I don't make any sense.
I went to church this morning (my religion is Roman Catholic), without my husband (sick at home). I was enjoying the feel of fellowship and participating in Mass. Then we got to the Homily. Guess what, same thing every year: anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Anti-abortion talk starts.
My reaction: Ok, same thing every year. Support the unborn and those struggling with unexpected pregnancy (teens? I always wonder who the people that show up at the crisis center are...). Don't wantonly abort a child just because they are unwanted.
The homily continues: Don't use contraception because it's a sin; because marriage should be the only place where couples have sex for the express purpose of having children. Couples should never use contraception because then they are simply expressing carnal love and not spiritually connecting, and that is a sin.
My reaction: Ok, same thing again. Of course, if people USED contraception and were educated about their bodies and sex, maybe there wouldn't BE as many people desperate and considering abortion.
Priest: Contraception CAUSES abortions because people get addicted to the 'high' of having sex for fun and then whoops when a baby comes and they just casually decide to get rid of the 'consequence'.
Me: Ok, no. I don't think so. Using contraception would PREVENT abortion. Ok, yes, our society at this point DOES flaunt sex, causes people (mostly women) to be viewed as mere objects (seriously, have you watched any commercials lately??). I do agree that when we objectify others we dehumanize them and turn them into commodities to be bought and sold. That leads to trouble.
Priest: And these test-tube babies, these designer babies. People can now choose the sex of their unborn baby. In China, there are people choosing babies based on their intelligence! They can choose not to have a baby that would have a disability! Who are we to say who can be born or not?
Me: WOAH. Hold on. Is he talking about IVF? Ok, yes, I've heard of couples who select for gender. WTF is this thing about China? There is NO WAY to currently test a zygote for intelligence! Now the science teacher part of me is mad. And yes, some people who know they have a genetically inherited disease in their family choose to have the embryos screened and choose one that does not have the disease. Ok, and now we get into gray territory. I'm furious because he is painting everyone with the same broad brush of 'sinner, sinner' and I'm sitting here listening to him equate contraceptive use with abortion and then IVF with unethical killing of unborn lives and science playing God. All huge, complex moral topics that are NOT black and white. I have never wanted to leave church before, but at that moment, I wanted to get up and walk out.
Priest: Goes on to talk about child slavery, human trafficking, etc. Of course, we should be compassionate towards those who are currently experiencing infertility...
I left church feeling really, really angry and more upset than I've been in a while. Don't couples struggling with infertility already have ENOUGH on their plate? Now we have to deal with morality issues from the church as well??
When I got home, I shared with my husband my concerns. We looked up some of the treatments to see what the Church considers ethical. Pretty much this: natural conception, surgery, some fertility drugs, and that's it. No IUI, no GIFT or ZIFT; and certainly no IVF. We wouldn't want to treat the miracle of life as a 'product of conception' that was born 'in a lab'. No, we don't want Brave New World babies, decanted from a test tube instead of born in a womb. From having sex. But not just any sex; super-holy, soulful sex.
Yeah, if that's not enough to make me explode with anger, I don't know what is. We haven't yet begun any 'serious' medical interventions to help us. I am scheduled to go on Femara as soon as I finish getting my shots for Varicella and we get my DH's second sample analyzed (which, by the way, the collection process is also a sin in the eyes of the church).
I agree that we shouldn't wantonly abort babies, go around having sex all willy-nilly by using contraception because we can (ie: one night stands), and treat people as commodities. These things are fine with me. I can agree with them.
However, I cannot agree that we should prevent ALL abortions. Babies from incest? Rape? Carrying baby to term would kill the mother? Exceptions to the rule. Contraception- if we taught people about their bodies instead of hiding natural ways of preventing conception (ie: FAM method), then maybe more people would practice using it responsibly and not have unwanted pregnancies!
I cannot agree that we should tell struggling infertile couples, whose greatest GOD-GIVEN DESIRE is to have a family, that they should or should not use reproductive assistance. IVF is already painful and expensive- to tell an infertile couple they are going to hell because they want to 'multiple and be fruitful' is the height of hypocrisy.
Also, my sister had to make the decision to use IVF to save some eggs just in case the chemo treatments nuked her ovaries and she couldn't produce any more. The docs also told her that if she tried to get pregnant naturally, her cancer could come back. So she has a bunch of frozen embryos that she is trying to find a surrogate for so they can have kids. Don't think for a minute that she didn't AGONIZE over that decision and doesn't still think about the moral and ethical repercussions of what she and they chose to do.
Science is a double-edged sword. It can give us technologies to help us, but we are responsible for developing the ethics and standards that lead to it being a benefit for everyone. That's what I try to teach my students.
I think we are just going to have to wait and see what the coming months brings us. We can cross the IVF bridge when- or if- we have to come to it.
