I am very type-A. I worry about everything constantly and whether or not it is good enough or if I'm doing it right. I rarely take time to celebrate accomplishments because I'm already thinking of ways to do it better. That said, I have trouble just not worrying.
I woke up yesterday with some light bleeding. I've been wearing a pad because of leakage (ok, waterfalls) from the Endometrin and Estrace. So I noticed it. It was red, but not bright red. No clots, but sort of like the light bleeding I get at the beginning of my period. That really worried me. I spent the rest of the day freaking out and Googling miscarriage symptoms.
I find it interesting that people consider infertility at an end once the woman gets pregnant. This is certainly not the case!! Infertility ends when I am holding a healthy baby in my arms. I think part of it is that we've spent 3 years and thousands of dollars on infertility treatments and I am worried about the possibility of losing the most precious gift that we fought so hard for.
My day continued. I dragged myself through it- so exhausted. I had back cramps in the afternoon and evening. My back hurt so much by my last class that I taught sitting down. I never do that. I had to take some children's Tylenol to help it stop hurting. I went to the bathroom frequently- not because I had to, but because I wanted to check for more blood. I had a tiny amount of spotting, but nothing after the morning. That was somewhat of a relief.
I am still concerned because I really don't 'feel' pregnant. My breasts are less sore than before, the veins have disappeared a little, I'm not nauseous, I haven't been getting up to pee in the early a.m. like before....I'm just a worrier by nature. I really hope this works out. I opted not to go in for an early ultrasound or bloodwork since I stopped bleeding. But I know I'm going to worry about this the rest of the week until Friday.
Say a prayer for us.
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