It must be one of those things. When you're not paying attention, you don't notice it. But as soon as it becomes important, you see it everywhere. For me, it's people getting pregnant. These past few weeks, one of my sister's friends posted that she was pregnant with an ultrasound picture on Facebook. Then one of our friends posted a belly picture on Facebook with a 'guess what' message.
I am trying not to feel jealous or left out or anxious....but it's hard not to. Last month, I was really reading a lot of pregnancy/birth material and it was consuming my time (even though I promised myself I wouldn't let it become an obsession...). I felt pressured. My husband felt pressured. So I finally just let go. I had my period and was a little sad, but also kind of happy to have a 'real' period again. It was like, "oh yeah, this is what it's supposed to be like!".
I did an ovulation calculator for this month, but kept my fertile dates to myself and have been keeping myself busy, which helped reduce the pressure we were feeling. I'm applying for grad school and should get accepted soon. I don't feel any different this month, whereas last month, any kind of weird/ill/different sensation was like, "Is this it? Am I pregnant? Could I be?" I figure I'll definitely know when because I'll probably get sick. I'm also trying not to think about it as often. Being busy does help.
At any rate, it will happen when it happens. Until then, I will try to be at peace with me the way I am today.
In the almost two years of trying to conceive, it seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant with the greatest of ease. It was hard for me not to obsess about it, but still cried each time my period came. Now friends who got pregnant around the same time as me are having more children, and I'm starting to get a little more anxious about having a second child (especially since I just turned 34, I feel the biological clock ticking...) I never quite figured out how to relax about it all, so I wish I could give you the perfect advice while you embark on this. The one thing I can say, is that when you finally become a mother (either through natural conception, in vitro, or adoption) all the pain, all the worry, all the challenges...are all worth it.
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