It's been a while since I last posted, but I thought that the recent events merited a return. Obviously I have not been able to get pregnant yet. I had a laparoscopy in July that turned up a tiny bit of endometriosis and a small cyst on my uterus, but nothing that would prevent pregnancy. We finally decided to go to a reproductive endocrinologist a friend recommended. When we met with her, she looked over our results and told us we are in the 85% of people who are helped by assisted reoroductive technology. I went in for some more diagnostic tests and was told my uterus and ovaries are normal. Always good to hear. Just waiting on some results before we get started with treatment. Probably will go on Clomid and maybe progesterone. Don't want to do IUI yet.
Talked to my sister yesterday. It's thanksgiving break. She is trying to decide what to do also, since she doesn't want to risk a recurrence of cancer in pregnancy. They are looking for a surrogate.
So after all this, we get up this morning and I'm having breakfast when my sister exclaims, look at J's shirt! (Our nephew) it says on the back, I'm going to be a big brother. My SIL is pregnant again. I found myself saying congratulations, but felt a terrible mix of guilt, anxiety, and depression flood up in me. I wanted to cry and throw up at the same time. And I'm sure my sister felt the same. Now we have to live the rest of this holiday weekend thinking about it, GREAT. I think I need to make a counselor appointment whe we return. This just sucks.
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