Day 3

Good thing we were up early this morning- our embryologist called right around 8:00 to let us know both embryos are now 8 cells each and are a Grade 1 (that's perfect!!). They are already little overachievers. :-) We decided to leave them alone tomorrow so they can grow. The embryologist called Day 4 an 'awkward stage'. All I could picture is the little embryos going, "Leave me alone! Don't look at me!" like teenagers that have a bad case of acne.

We'll be going in Monday morning for the transfer. After a good deal of conversation, DH and I decided to elect for only 1 embryo to be transferred. I am young and healthy, but two babies could be risky. Unless the ER has a different opinion, a singleton pregnancy would be our preferred option.

Also, I am on tons of supportive meds- steroids, antibiotics, progesterone, and estrogen. I had TERRIBLE hot flashes yesterday. I'm hoping my body adjusts so I don't feel like I'm on fire today. I had to eat ice cream after work just to feel normal (not that that's a bad thing)!

Here are our day 3 littles:

I hope one is a girl and the other is a boy- that would be just right. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I am just elated that they are finally here. I hope my body can sustain and support them the way it is supposed to.

Namaste!

Day 2

Day 2, things are still looking great. Our embryologist said they are 'perfect'!

I know there is still implantation and all of gestation to go, but one day at a time...I am having horrible hot flashes today thanks to the progesterone (I think). I felt like I was running a fever all day long and my head was swimming. I hope my body adjusts to it soon. Whew!

Here are our lovelies:

May God continue to bless their growth and watch over them!

We have zygotes!!

I am beside myself with excitement and hope. 2 out of the 3 eggs successfully fertilized! Here's to hoping they will both continue to develop beautifully.

Retrieval #2

These past few weeks have been insane. Between a much-needed Fall break (thank God for 4-day weekends!) and Homecoming Week (how much sugar have these students been eating?!?), I have just about been at the top of my stress levels.

After last time, we decided to sit back and re-group while nature took its course. We contacted the office to get started again with a new protocol. Still natural cycle IVF, just changing things up a little bit to catch the eggs in time. I wasn't feeling as hopeful this round since the doctor said there was still a good chance I could ovulate on my own despite the Ganirelix.

I started my shots last Wednesday and finished them on Monday. This was a short time compared to the 8 days last time! My follicles developed quickly and the lining looked good on Monday, so they had me trigger with the HCG Monday night. I had been charting my temps, so I was keeping a hawk eye on those in case they suddenly went up (which usually indicates ovulation). I had a lot of cervical fluid that also indicated that I was very fertile (EWCM). This made me even more nervous because it happened last time. So I wasn't feeling too good about my chances this morning. My temperature went up, the fluid appeared to dry up, and I didn't feel as 'full' as I had the day before. I was very upset already about my chances.

We got to the clinic early (doors were still locked!) and got checked in. I went in for a preliminary scan. This made me feel better- last time, they took me straight back to the OR and I had no time to adjust. The scan room is where I've been going, so I felt less anxious in there. My doctor came in (thankfully, she's the one I like- the other one is fine and professional, but I like her better) and asked how we were doing. We told her we thought I'd ovulated already. She seemed surprised and said that my hormone levels wouldn't have suggested that, but that we would take a look.

The ultrasound revealed NO OVULATION!! Hallelujah!! I had 3 very big, healthy-looking follicles they wanted to get to, so we immediately went back to the prep room to get me ready. I opted for anesthesia this time, so the lady was there asking me all kinds of questions while I got ready to nap. Thankfully, she gave me a numbing shot for the IV since it was going in my hand (ouch). Before I knew it, I kissed DH good luck for his part and walked into the OR. I was instantly anxious again, but soon after I got into place, the anesthesia lady did her thing and I promptly passed out. When I woke up, they scooted me over to a stretcher and got me to the recovery room.

DH was there waiting for me. The embryologist came out and said they were successfully able to retrieve 3 eggs! She said that is quite a lot for a natural cycle, and that they would be fertilized later this afternoon. We were both thrilled and excited. I just kept silently praising God, thank you, thank you, thank you.

We went home. I took some Tylenol with codeine for the pain- it wasn't too bad, kind of like strong period cramps. I wasn't sleepy for a while, so I just laid on the couch curled up under a blanket until I did fall asleep. I woke up just in time for the embryologist to call. She said all 3 eggs had great quality (yay gametes!) and that she was able to fertilize all of them. She will call us tomorrow to let us know if they are developing correctly. We hope that all of them get to become embryos. I am praying so much for those little bundles of DNA right now- our future child/children!!!

We know there's a long way to go- first developing, then transfer, then implantation...then development...but we at least have jumped the first hurdle in our journey to becoming parents. That makes me feel very, very good. We have made more progress today than in the last 4 years!

Here's to hoping- namaste!

That Question

So I'm minding my own business, teaching students and taking care of some paperwork. One of my female students comes up to me (these are 9th graders) and says, "Can I ask you a personal question?" I was like, "Okay....?" So she says,

"Are you pregnant?"

Cue overwhelming tidal wave of bad emotions.

"No."

But she didn't stop there. She then added,

"ARE YOU SURE?"

I told her "YES" and then she went back to her seat.

Class ended, they left. It was my lunch period, so I decided to call DH to vent. Just as I was about to pick up the phone, another student entered the room. She was one of mine from last year, so I smiled and said hello. She said,

"A friend of mine in one of your classes had a question but was too embarrassed to ask you. Are you pregnant?"

I was like, "F%^&*(%@!%^*&W@$$%" in my head. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! This has to be the worst timing ever.

So I just kind of fake laughed and said, "No, I've just eaten too much chocolate. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

She was like, "Oh, chocolate! Can I have some?"

I was like, GTFO. No, I didn't say that. I said, "Come back tomorrow and I'll give you some."



I completely understand why these students asked this question. I live in a town where the average teen pregnancy rate is very high. Girls think it's cute to have babies. They are totally oblivious to the fact that 1) children are a lot of work and 2) not everyone gets pregnant when they want to. They have no idea what infertility even is, or that that is even a problem for some people. I get it. I really do. Culturally, it is okay for them to ask that question. They want to ooh and ahh over a teacher who they like (at least I hope they like me) and ask me questions about all that.

But seriously. Has no one ever explained that it is RUDE to ask a woman if she's pregnant, or that they might be offending the person?? Or metaphorically stabbing a knife through that person's heart because they CAN'T get pregnant??

I really wanted to punch something today. But I didn't. I came home and danced my a## off for half an hour. I think it's the stress eating and the meds that has caused me to put on so much weight. I have gone up one pant size in the last calendar year and currently weigh 190. EEK. I do not want to weigh so much. Time to dance my a$$ off some more and quit eating my emotional problems or trying to solve them with chocolate.

Even though chocolate is really, really tasty. :-(