Waiting with hope

Well, it's been a week or so since our positive news. I thought I would write about what I've been experiencing over that time period while we wait with hope and a bit of nervousness about the ultrasound on Friday.

I still can't believe I'm pregnant. I think part of me is trying to be protective against possible disappointment, because there is a scared part of my brain saying, "What if this is just a chemical pregnancy? A blighted ovum? What if you have a miscarriage because this just wasn't meant to be?"

I had to POAS last week because I have still been keeping track of my temps. I watched them dip below my coverline one morning and had a bout of anxiety about miscarriage. No bleeding, and the test was positive. The temps took a climb back up and I have breathed a sigh of relief.

Since I am very attuned to my body, I have noticed the following changes:

• Acid reflux after eating spicy foods
• More thirsty than usual- it makes sense, your body is making more blood for the embryo!
• I had some hot flashes a few days after the transfer- not sure if this was the progesterone/estrogen I've been taking
• Tender breasts- not as bad as before my period, but veins are definitely more noticeable
• Falling asleep on the couch by 9:00 p.m. Not extreme exhaustion, but certainly more tired.
• Irritable- I have been much more hard on my students over things that I would normally let slide
• Bloating/constipation (yeah, TMI)- Ok, so I look 3 months pregnant. I catch my students giving me sidelong glances. I am uncomfortable wearing my regular pants, yet not ready to go into maternity clothes at just 5 weeks pregnant!!
• Cramps- they feel like period cramps, but are intermittent. Hopefully this is due to uterus expanding, although I read it can be due to dehydration. Time to drink more water!

No nausea (yet) thankfully, although if I don't eat snacks between meals I get ravenously hungry and lightheaded. Some days I just 'feel' pregnant, and other days I feel totally normal.

Hopefully we will have a positive ultrasound result on Friday- say a prayer and cross your fingers for us!

Day 3

Good thing we were up early this morning- our embryologist called right around 8:00 to let us know both embryos are now 8 cells each and are a Grade 1 (that's perfect!!). They are already little overachievers. :-) We decided to leave them alone tomorrow so they can grow. The embryologist called Day 4 an 'awkward stage'. All I could picture is the little embryos going, "Leave me alone! Don't look at me!" like teenagers that have a bad case of acne.

We'll be going in Monday morning for the transfer. After a good deal of conversation, DH and I decided to elect for only 1 embryo to be transferred. I am young and healthy, but two babies could be risky. Unless the ER has a different opinion, a singleton pregnancy would be our preferred option.

Also, I am on tons of supportive meds- steroids, antibiotics, progesterone, and estrogen. I had TERRIBLE hot flashes yesterday. I'm hoping my body adjusts so I don't feel like I'm on fire today. I had to eat ice cream after work just to feel normal (not that that's a bad thing)!

Here are our day 3 littles:

I hope one is a girl and the other is a boy- that would be just right. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I am just elated that they are finally here. I hope my body can sustain and support them the way it is supposed to.

Namaste!